You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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