"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
