Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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