Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.