So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?