Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck