glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.