I'm gonna have a badass scar
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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