playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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