We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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