do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
