Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
