I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
