I CAN MOONWALK!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
