All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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