she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
