I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
