Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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