I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
