I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
