The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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