haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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