wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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