well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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