I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
