did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
