6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize