if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
