I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
