I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
