dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
