eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
