Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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