My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.