I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.