Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone