You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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