One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
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So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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