What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize