Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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