Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
