Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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