your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
