so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
