At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
