And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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