So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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