I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
