yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She told me I should be a condom model.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.