took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
