jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
