My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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