dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
