i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
