Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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