I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
