The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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