I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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