this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
