Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
