I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
