Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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