Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
