FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
