I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
