He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
