so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
