Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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