i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
